I'm sooo discouraged about this upcoming baby's birth. The OBs here are unwilling to allow me to labor. They have given me a choice of a) schedule an early c-section (because hospital policy requires the OB to be present at a VBAC labor at all times, and they don't feel like sitting around to wait on me-a paraphrase of his words) or b) homebirth. Of course he was not that keen on the homebirth option. Anyway, I'm not so much either. This pregnancy has made me nervous because of my bleeding episode (which I suppose is entirely normal, just not for me), and also I'm not ready to choose from any of the available midwifes. One is just too far away. She's the same distance as our last midwife, but she doesn't do in home visits for prenatal care. That's a lot of driving with a lot of little kids and a lot of gas. One is too expensive. Several are two new agey, feminist, weird for me. So what am I to do? Unassissted is just NOT an option. I'm 14 weeks now. I need to choose soon, or no one will want to take me but the surgeon. AARRGGHHHH
In the middle of all this turmoil, I don't even feel ready to care for a new baby yet. I'm not excited like I should be, I'm nervous. I do not want a third cesarean. I do not want delivery complications. I want to have all this settled so I can get excited about having a baby. What I need is to find out I'm having a girl and start pulling out my cute little girlie hand-me-downs. Or find out I'm having a boy and start buying cute clothes because all of my boy stuff looks ragged.
What I really need is direction and peace. I only know one place to get that.
That Ear Thing
5 days ago
4 comments:
Rebecca...I'm so sorry that you are having this quandry at a time in your life when you should be able to relax and enjoy it! But, sometimes God closes a door and opens that proverbial window. If you end up having to use a surgeon, than maybe it is for the best. Are there any message boards out there that you could seek out that might offer an alternative doctor? I'm just wondering if he gave you the straight answer on "no doctor in this area would do it."
The main thing is give it your best shot and then let Him do the rest. I love you and support you and Ian in your decisions.
Love you,
Mom
Becky, I'm praying. I'm praying that God will give you and Ian discerment to make the very best choice for this little one. And give you peace and even pleasant feelings for whichever doc/midwife you end up seeing.
I got to your blog from some blog on homeschool blogger, can't remember which one. I would encourage you to see someone who does homebirth. They will tell you if you risk out because of your bleeding. The midwives who do homebirth are usually very knowledgeable and careful. Prayerfully consider this as a very viable option. I have had 4 of my 5 at home and have not have c-sec but have had 8 miscarriages between my births. You are welcome to contact me if you like.
Prayerfully,
Laurie
Laurie, my husband just pointed your response out to me. I hadn't seen it until today- 10/17. Anyway, we have had two sections followed by two home births. I loved my homebirths, but I have moved cross country, now live far from any hospital, have two known risks, and can't find a midwife that I'm comfortable with. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. We're still waiting, and I'm feeling more patient. We've had two good ultrasounds to check on the hemorrhage.
All that to say, I was going to contact you to ask if you or your midwife were in my area, but I can't view your profile or find your blog... Let me know if you can!
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